Am I a bad student?

Right now I'm in my American History class. I LOVE LOVE LOVE history. It just makes me excited to know the things that have gone on in the world. I've often thought about changing my major to teach history. It's a passion. I read history books for fun. True story.

Well, right now, my history teacher is awfully annoying to me. I can't stay in this class much longer. Her voice has that annoying tone to it. She sounds like Joan Cusack. Don't get me wrong, JC is a great actor, but her voice has that same quality of a metal fork scraping a glass plate. I'm pretty sure that this class is offered every semester. If it's not then SLU has more flaws than I thought. Sooooo, I'm thinking that I may drop this class on my break and take it again next semester.

She's actually about 30 years off from where I take a lot of interest in history. The Salem Witch Trials. The time that The Crucible is written about. I absolutely love hearing about that. The Crucible is one production I require that I be involved with before I die. I think it's my favorite play.

The thing I've been wishing to make a job of lately is Greek history. "But Kate, you're not Greek!" Good point, but irrelevant. I had an American History teacher from England a few years ago. Interesting, right? I actually loved that class and passed it with an A. Anyway, the Greeks fascinate me. The Greeks, the Egyptians, the Ancient Chinese. I'll go as far as to say that early eastern Europe up until right after the Renaissance. interests me deeply. Theatre really springs from the Greeks. That's where it really started to be celebrated, or where it was really actually used to celebrate and pay homage to gods. Greek theatre is what really makes me head over heels. As stated in my last blog, theatre is the love of my life. It's natural (at least in my thoughts it's natural) that I'd like to learn about the beginning of the thing I love most.

I'm going to stop this blog now. I'm sleepy. I want lunch with CJ. Heck, I just want lunch.


Side note: John Wayne really is "tha man".

Theatre

I've always been one to live more of a slightly fantasized, dramatic life. I've never wanted life any other way. I did my first "play" in kindergarten. Sort of. I say sort of because I was the "director" and an "actor:" in the "play". I remember asking my kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Marsha, if she'd let us do a play for her. She said yes. It wasn't much of a play. Princesses and babies and jewelry made of baby wipes. Odd combination, I know, but I look back on that and realize that that was my first really real performance with an audience. I mean, yeah, sure we had the end of the year programs and Christmas and Easter programs in preschool and stuff, but this was the first one that I had ever done any real "acting". I wonder now what that teacher thought of me. The silly little girl with a bright personality and the most get-out-of-town-awful country accent ever. I wonder if I knew then that I'd be so in love with theatre now.

Fast forward to today. Today I was walking down the hall of an all too familiar hall way on campus. I've walked that hall way probably more than I care to think about. Today it was different, though. It was sad. There were signs posted on a neatly organized bulletin board. That bulletin board has seen some interesting days. I signed my name on a list on that board more than once. One time in particular stands out in my mind. My first time signing a list. Not just any list, a cast list. I remember the night before I had gotten a phone call saying that I had been cast in the play MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING By: William Shakespeare. I was shocked. Never in a million years had I ever expected to be cast in anything. I remember asking the stage manager, Lydia, if everyone had been cast. She laughed and said that 65 people had auditioned, but that only 24 made it. Wow. The next day I walked down that hallway for the first time to accept my role as the First Watch. I had my friend CJ take a picture of me fake signing the list later that day.

That was nearly two years ago.

And, again, I say fast forward to today. I was walking down the hall that over the past two years I had come to know, love and practically claim for the theatre department. Then I realize that there are other people there. People I don't know. I say people, but I saw one person. It sent me to an awkward place emotionally. I hadn't realized how much exactly theatre had been so essential to me. Not just the act of theatre, the actual theatre. The building. The proscenium. The audience. The actors--my friends, and in some few rare cases, people who didn't care much for me or I for them. The directors. The scenery. The lights. All of it. The memories. So many memories, in the same place I had been many times before that was all changed and different with time. A short amount of time, but still, time changes things. So many new people walk that hallway now. I can't help but be happy that the theatre has new participants, but sad because I don't have things in common with these new participants. They like the night clubs, I prefer the pubs with my older friends. They look down upon Shakespeare and Greek theatre, I love them both with my heart, because they are a part of my history as an actor.

So, I leave you with this. Would all of this eventually get to me if I didn't have to take a year off from theatre? Would it set in after I graduated? Would it happen anyway even with me staying the way I was in theatre while the people around me changed? Why does it all mean so much? When I get to go back, will I be resented because I have memroies with this place and these few people who are still here from when I started that these other people do not? Will I resent them for their new memories that I am not a part?

Mucho heart and lots of love,
KT

Okay...

So... I'm not sure why my last post posted in Hindu, but I think I fixed it.

I have some websites I'd like to make you guys aware of:

1. Versanova... Check them out.actuallly... that's about it.

much <3 and lots of love,
kt

गुड पीपुल

यू क्नोव, इ'म नोट एवें सुर व्हिच लैंगुएज थिस इस। उम्... येः। <3
www।lovevideoplayhouse.ning.com

Gee, Thanks Mom.

You know, my mother and I have never been the closest, but I'm not really sure why she's always so critical of the way I look. It hurts my feelings. Really. So as I'm about to go out, I sit here blogging trying to avoid tears. I like to look nice. I like to take care of myself, but the way I dress and look my mother doesn't like. Most daughters hear from their mothers how beautiful they are, and my mother is always the one who tells me "Are you sure you're not going to straighten your hair?"...I didn't straighten my hair. You know, my mom only tells me I'm pretty when I have on make up and when my hair is fixed perfectly. She must not realize A. How vain that makes her sound. and B. How much it hurts me--rips me into shreds. Now, I know she doesn't mean it to hurt me, but that's the way it always happens. "Do you wanna be invited to go out again?" Does my mom have such little faith in me that I can't be a human? That friendship is based solely on looks? That I have nothing to stand on on my own to offer people? The fact that I'm a smart and good person must apparently mean nothing. Yeah.

So, I'm going to read now. I'm waiting to get a call asking where I live so I can be picked up. If pictures are made, I'll make sure to post one or two of them.

mucho <3 and lots of soul,
Kate