update-ish dealie kind of sort of thing.

Okay. I'm getting my mind sorted out about Kirk. It's good. We even occasionally speak to each other casually at work now, and I'm not driven to want to cry. It was a bad situation we were in, but I learned from it and never want to take it back because it was special.

I passed my English class. I never thought I'd make it past English one. You know what? I didn't even write the last two papers and I passed this class with a C+. Am I proud that I passed? HECK YEAH! I'm also entering a degree program at Ashford University. It seems online classes are the way for me to go. Until I turn 22 (October 22nd of this year... don't forget it or I'll cry.) I have to be in the business degree program. I don't mind, though. I can get the rest of my basic classes done. As for after I'm 22, I'd like to go into one of two degree programs--history or early childhood education.

My mother has been saying lately that I need to teach young kids--kindergarten kids. I'd like to. I LOVE teaching. I LOVE kids (most of the time). I honestly have no idea right now. I think that when the time is right, I'll know.

Tonight I've been in a reflecting mood. I'm just thinking about where I was at the end-ish of my freshman year of college. I thought I was a terrible person. I drank alcohol for the first time. I used foul language for the first time. I was pretty much living with a class/castmate who was an interesting influence on me. Yeah, we had our good times, but we had some very crappy bad times. Some of you know this person. Our friendship was ruined because of lies and lack of common courtesy. I'm not going into details (by the way, I lost points on my memoir for using that phrase) about why/what or whom was involved in our final blow-out, just know that it involved the internet, several people around the world, lies and irrelevant threats. I REALLY HATE LIES. And you know what? It was really crappy. Neither of the parties involved gained anything. We both lost respect and friendships.

A few weeks after something really bad happened to me, I felt like reaching out and tying up loose ends. Someone once said that my two biggest flaws are that I want to be friends with everyone, and that I want to fix everything. I messaged that girl who I had once been friends with because I knew she was having a bad time, too. She told me that she held "no ill toward me". I took it. I did my part and apologized for what I did wrong when we were fighting. I left it at that. Lately, part of me has been wondering "what if?"... "What if I wouldn't have vented to the wrong person and they wouldn't have lied about what I said?" "What if I would have never moved into that apartment?" I've come to this conclusion: I learned from it. I got good from these experiences even though they were really crappy and I never want to repeat them again.

Oh, by the way, the major third party involved in this story and I are friends. We buried the hatchet peacefully.


My blogs are kind of spastic if you haven't noticed. I apologize for that if it's not what you like to read or the style you like to read.

So yeah. Um yeah.... that's about it.

ciao,
kt